Hi fam,

So I am going to (for the first time on here) talk on an area I purposely sideline not because I have nothing to say in its’ regard I actually have soo much sef, but rather owing to the fact there’s quite a lot to say and the fact that the subject matter is more relative to each individual situation, it becomes quite sensitive to discuss.

However, today, I feel the need to share something I also am learning – an approach to waiting for the right one, without wearing yourself out in the process.

How? Well first of all;

1. Stop counting stones!

I’ll admit, until very recently, I was very guilty of this. You know how as a lady you have quite a number of guys ‘on your P’ (as we all now refer to the process of boy chase girl for a relationship…lol) and you are either observing to see who you’ll eventually date and all or just observing basically. Well, I was in the habit of very consciously taking note of who’s currently on (as in latest P setter), who’s still on regardless and who finally gave it a rest lol (I think it was my way of keeping up to date with myself emotionally) however, what’s funny is that I aint no public service office, why the mind roster? Ironically, this act tends to keep you stuck in that zone and I dare say, you almost forget that there is actually a possibility no one in that zone will make the cut. I mean, your mind already knows who’s trying to get you and except you actually have a mental health limitation, you can’t forget who actually asked you out now?? So, release yourself… Live!


2. Clear targets!

Have an open mind. We all should know what we want as ladies, hope and pray for that, but to be honest, that ‘dream/ideal guy or nothing’ mentality is the reason why a lot of ladies go into s****y relationships, swallow s**t and package. Sometimes, the lucky ladies get to come out before a ceremony (marriage) and can save themselves, while the other MANY ladies, end up in unsatisfactory marriages, victimized homes, a doomed life of pretense, or just divorce after divorce. I mean, they got their do or die “Tall, dark and handsome” maganamagana man boy.

Listen, the point is this, if you’ve worked on yourself as a woman, you do not need a list, you will attract and be identified by the man for that ‘woman’. Pray for what you want, hope you get that but leave it there! Have an open mind, that way no wolf in sheep clothing or boy in man clothes will last enough to cause damage, so you’ll find yourself actually living.

Make a decision to….

3. Trust the principle of ONE!

Yup darling! Just like from the onset there was A woman for A man and vice versa, decide (make a conscious decision) to trust that there is ONE man made perfect and custom for you, because there is. I’m telling myself this every moment I be feeling some kinda way, like I finna be settling just coz. This will help you stay focused and become a better you, while in the wait. While trusting this, relax, nothing stops you from going on dates, I am not saying seclude yourself from the world, just don’t struggle for food from someone else’s plate and definitely don’t kill yourself or settle just because there are seemingly no ‘sensible’ options in your opinion on your case.

P:S. Real men MEN take charge! They know what they want and go after it and they are not threatened by letting you know you are all that and more, they are not contesting with you, they are contesting FOR you. You are always priority, you are always at stake!

That ONE is out there, be better for you and eventually Him. Chill!


4. Build your GODfidence!

This right here is me now. I have no confidence that I can get me a good man…truth is, I cannot. However, I have absolutely and a 100% confidence that God can and will. He did it in the beginning, He’s been in the business of doing it when he was allowed and trusted, he definitely ain’t stopping at my time and yours hunnay! He gon’ do it again!

Build your Godfidence!

Like I said, this is first for me as much as it is every single lady reading this. Please focus rather on building you, becoming better, living; take a chill pill, you have your man and he’s coming to get you babes, with no second guesses! *wink*.



Featurd image (Art) by Njideka Akunyili Crosby.


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