Even though this is coming from a biblical perspective (because I am Christian and speak from ‘home’) please do not discard the message in this, we have all gone through our bouts of ‘caving in’ (well I know I have) and sometimes rebelling to, because we ‘committed’ one way or the other and for some reason, we couldn’t get to a place of believing we could (or even can still) get past the damage we deliberately or through pressure got ourselves into.
So, lets talk deep a bit shall we.
I am really grateful for the spirit of God; the spirit that awakens our conscience within, it’s alive, its functional, and to this regard, there is really nothing, absolutely NOTHING one who’s been able to develop a personal/intimate relationship with God, can get away with, done in the wrong. In the same vein, there is nothing also done in the right it doesn’t acknowledge, no matter how little. However, because one’s spirit rules more (having known God on a more personal level) and one’s consciousness and conscience is also very much alive, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that the devil will try to play that for bad of course its not, in the real sense of things but, because he is soo cunning and only seeks to devour and destroy, he uses this profitable blessing (your conscience) to make us want to run away from God, in the form of FEAR and GUILT.
When we do wrong and our spirit through our conscience gives us a strike (note, only in love and for good to put us right back with God), he (the devil) will rather try to make you play your wrong over and over, till the point that even after having asked for forgiveness and receiving it, seeds of doubt come in, grow, develop and introduce a stronger element – guilt. Soon as guilt is settled in, you are no longer convinced (in your heart) that you have received forgiveness, by his grace and mercy. Due to this condemnation sets in, and now you condemn yourself. You cry, “mercy lord!” but hear yourself say, “He doesn’t listen to sinners like you, who know and do wrong still”. You cry some more because you now accept this as ‘truth’. Guilt and self condemnation then welcomes FEAR.
Gladly, fear sashays in and begins to list out all the possible consequences of that wrong, refuels it and makes you do what it teaches best – Hide; run away, far away from the only person that makes it right, from the only person that ‘already’ made it right. It doesn’t also just stop there, fear exaggerates and builds cases on the initial wrong. Soon:
-You no longer believe you should be close to God.
-You no longer believe he should or needs to be good to you.
-You no longer see the good work he does in your life (You become oblivious to them).
-You no longer feel like you are progressing.
-You retain the feeling of being unworthy, filth, unusable.
-You loose hope, you loose courage and just like that, you no longer feel like taking a chance at anything.
-You are so sucked in your exaggerated wrong, you are consumed by it and can no longer be the ambassador He enables you to be.
You allowed He (the devil) succeed in getting you from a place with God; to no place at all, then in that confusion, you relinquish yourself to delving deeper in ‘consoling vices’; Now you drink more, drug or drug more or simply just take your own life (a lot of which we see more now).
He finally convinced you of how much of a disappointment you are.
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity but of power, love and self-discipline”.
Let me rephrase – no matter what! God has not given you (that knows him and are made right by him) a spirit of fear and timidity (because He does not even have it to give) but of power, (which overcame even death and always overcomes) of love, (because He is Love) and of self-discipline (as we are truly dead to self). This is all the spirit of God gives. So know that the spirit which awakens your consciousness on your wrongs, only does so to get you back on the right, so you are once again operating in power, in love and self discipline plus much more (Galatians 5:22-23).
Know that the moment you realise you are enveloped in fear, timidity, engulfed by guilt and drained by doubt, you have silenced the spirit of God and are allowing a foreign spirit take charge. Stop and believe that he who truly forgives, has forgiven, who truly loves has loved you and still does and much more, loves you enough to make that enormous wrong, right. If you do not realize that you make God a liar (John 3:16) by doubting your importance to him still, evil succeeds in taking you away from Him and nullifies His promises in your life.
Realize the deep rot the devil wants to entice you to create in your life and relationship with God and shut those creeping voices now. Be free from fear and guilt!