Hi Fam,

lll officially give myself a pat on the back *pats back*, because I believe I am finally coming through with my pledge of last year (Reading a book each month) which I sort of struggled in the department most of 2016. Well, the great thing about writing in this sense is that you’ll end up casting yourself which I have done. That not withstanding, I believe I have also regained my almost deceased loved for reading prints again. I’m really psyched about this development!

Soouu, my first review last year was humorous, emotional and quite an experience (I’m sure you’d agree) however, this takes quite a new angle and is characterized differently. This book What guys see that girls don’t… or do they? Is deep!

Interestingly, the title comes off very witty and somewhat cliche like hmmmm, what is it again guys see that we ladies don’t now, huh? Trust me, the tittle does little justice to the broad depth and insight this book exposes. First, I believe because the author is quite experienced in the area this book covers and secondly because of the scriptural connotations and foundations.

Il tryyyyyy (because I can really only make an attempt) to give my personal thoughts and notes but mehn fam, Il mostly quote direct from the ‘horses mouth’ and allow you extract. Plan yeah? Smooth!

The synopsis endeared me; that seemingly unintentional question, that was definitely the catalyst I needed to read and complete reading this inspirational piece in a day.

“Without ever lifting a brush, you paint a picture of yourself with the clothes you wear and the demeanor you project. Are you reflecting the real you? Are you portraying the inner beauty God created in you?”

Like I said, the title does not give much away now don’t we all like a package? Yesit does tell what lies behind the minds of both sexes (whether both are fully conscious and admit to it, or otherwise) however, I found that this book was presenting more to the female sex (be you child, teen or adult) deliberateness as an option to the system of their thoughts and how they live their lives as ‘female’. It also offers how best to do so – the word of God and relates experiences which the author had been privileged to help with, witness and personally live-out.

My Breakdown

In order to stay on check and not run in confusing circles here, il simply quote this book in parts as I read and leave my additions below if need be.

Keep in mind that others watch you. Some watch to pattern their lives after you. Others watch with wrong motives towards you. Some watch with disappointment regarding what they are forced to look at. What you wear sends signals to people. 

Well your life shouldn’t be dictated by what others think…I gerrit but, that don’t mean you’re not being watched (plus,we will return to this clause as we proceed).

  • On modesty being an issue of the law or matter of the heart?

“… let me say that modesty is not about legalism or just keeping laws. Modesty is a matter of the heart and an attitude of surrender to Jesus’ lordship. God always starts with the heart of a person… If modesty isn’t understood from the position of a surrendered heart, a person will see it as legalism or law and he or she will probably at some point rebel against it.”

  • On modesty being in style anymore? (Designers)

“Without a God consciousness there is no moral guide . They have no sense of responsibility for the society of people for who they are making clothes; consequently, they will design and market a product to the absolute limits that the public will accept”.

  •  On attracting a quality man.

“When a girl makes an effort to dress modestly and still stays within fashion, a guy  is more likely to think – she is secure in who she is and obviously isn’t trying to find her identity… A secure guy, not a body-hunter, is attracted to the strength of a girl who sets her standards and doesn’t cave into his or anyone else’s peer pressure… If you want a guy to want your body, you’ll get a guy who wants only your body”.

  • On the devastation and destruction of lust. 

“It has been said that lust will take you further than you want to go, cost you more than you want to pay and keep you longer than you want to stay… Lust can’t be satisfied”.

  • On the emotional rush of lust.

“Most times when the word lust comes to mind, people automatically think of men lusting for women… women can lust to be lusted for? You may have never thought of it that way, but guys know when a girl is naive or when she is purposely wearing clothes to seduce them.”

  • On guarding your stuff.

“… when you seek the attention and admiration of others by displaying those valuable parts that should be kept protected and hidden, be warned that someone will eventually come along to steal those valuable items that you have revealed and leave you with heartache and loss… Lack of discernment and discretion can cause you to loose”.

  • On the perfect body.

“These images all around us seem to say – if you want to be happy or improve your self-image, you need to look like this picture. If you want lots of attention or, if you really want to go somewhere in life, you need to have a body like this… Healthy self love is not selfish or self-focused. It exists in someone who has accepted herself for who God made her to be. She is not trying to be someone else. She is not struggling to get attention… She can bring healing and wholeness to others”.

Imagery has strong and adverse effects on a girl/lady’s mind and the author highlights strategic concepts and principles i.e. Physical exercise, Anorexia, Surgical Alternatives and points out how to create a healthy balance.

  • On using discretion. 

“You must use discretion regarding your choice of friends because, you become like those whom you associate with… Make sure they are not clueless and naive”.

So let me conclude coming back to “Well your life shouldn’t be dictated by what others think”

  • On am I responsible for the results of my actions on others?

“Why should we be responsible for anybody else? Why can’t we just live our lives and let others live their lives…There is a desire for so-called – freedom to do whatever a person wants to do, whether it affects others negatively or not. This attitude promotes the thought that if others are hurt, it’s their problem and not our own responsibility. If we ignore our conscience that talks to us and tells us when we’ve done right or wrong, we can become hardened to any sense of responsibility towards others”. 

xoxo

JW

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