I woke up this morning with a burden in my heart, one so heavy I felt the tears intermittently glide down; down my cheek bones, down to the edge of my jaw, one gentle sob after the other. I could feel them but no one else could see them – my invisible passionate tears. I was quickened within, but I couldn’t yet understand why. Then, I found a voice for all that emotion, my lips separating to deliver words to the silent space around me. I said –
“Help me to see that this world, I am not of it and this world constantly needs your help because, if I see that there is a problem, I wouldn’t want to be part of the problem. I would want to hope on something better, rely on something certain, place my trust somewhere that can teach me how to be a solution, provide an escape for myself and for others. If I can accept the truth, I would live in this world, better, knowing I am not of it”.
I see death everywhere, everywhere!
I am an individual who by all means has survived ONLY by the grace of God but I am an individual who cannot make jest or light of that gift of grace, I must observe. I observe – I see death.
Death in Family values.
Do we even have ‘families’ less, values anymore? A world where mothers and daughters become sworn enemies over the love of a man? Where the hustle for money divides siblings and sets generational wars/rivalries? Where the culture of respect in the home is no longer existent. Where Christmas and holidays are cold and the road to ‘home’ is quiet; no activity, none whatsoever?
Death in Love.
The irony being that the word in itself has become more rampant, spreading like virus yet, the act invisible. Talks about loving, speeches about loving, seminars about loving, everywhere I mean, even right here still, a machete would be the first gift on the body of a young child who, just by existing under a different belief system, breathing the air of a different geographical location, offends the giver. Still, the advocates of this love, happily channel funds meant to empower destroyed lives, with express speed to personal accounts. Still, the mouth’s of the ones who promised love, habitually rain curses and derogatory statements. Still, a mum would stab her child to death and the father, burns his body because he was gay.
Death in purpose.
WE ARE COMPLACENT! Our world filled with so much complacency, many of us have become soo satisfied with ‘existing’ as opposed ‘living’ which in itself is purpose. So rather than working towards something, working for something, working because of something, we are rather comfortable bringing down the few that are. A world where words of promise are less trusted; they ‘hold no water’ no more, where government officials excitedly spew out lengthy scripts of promise without weight, to secure an office created for the populace yet, after it’s secured, delivery is hardly ever insured only the life of their families and their generations to come. Where businesses are started on social media platforms, with no interest whatsoever in rendering support, assistance or just what they claim to provide but, rather to siphon the other ignorant purposeful few. Where the ‘how’s’ and the ‘why’s’ are no longer considered and applauds rained most to the achiever, despite.
Death of dignity.
Look around you, there is no shame, no honor, no nobility. Individual self evaluation does not exist. There is no question of personal worth; everything goes, all is welcomed, all is accepted. As a Nigerian I see values fade to dust, confidence zeroed, insecurities rise! As a believer I see morals ridiculed and lifestyles of rebellion to God praised. Nothing is owned any more, everything is shared. Everything but love, everything but honorary! The world no longer has the patience to learn and accept from within, who they are therefore, every other, has contributions to each others lives. No nobility.
Death of relationships.
The slogan is – Do what makes you happy. The message is – find happiness by you. The understanding is – Bull#### everybody else! A world so self-filled it could make you wander, why then are other people here? Friendships are either a joke or a facade, the oath of marriage, merely a recitation, the tree of family… where is the tree? We have relation with people, we don’t relate with because if we did, it would be a situation of ‘vise-versa’; No insult and total disregard of a friend, partner or family, expecting praises and respect. No calculated, asserted and willful committal of loyalty and trust to another, just to ‘opt-out’ at the slightest inconvenience. No competition, just cooperation and sacrifice.
Death of the innocent, the voiceless, victimized.
If I choose not to recognize death and what it is, what it takes, how then can I appreciate life and the gift I, undeserving have received? How can I hope, how can I yen to look away to somewhere better, if I am yet to see my present state as bad? How then can I want to remain ALIVE for me and for another, if I do not recognize death? How then can I want to be better, if I am yet to understand the mediocrity I am among?
How can I retrace, repent of my contribution to my death and others, If I haven’t first realized it? How would I learn to live, in death?
I personally am learning everyday to live even in death by the word and this gives me all the confidence and assurance I need.
Do not conform yourselves to the standards of this world, but let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind. Then you will be able to know the will of God—what is good and is pleasing to him and is perfect.
Are you Living, in death?
Photography – Gottay
Model – MzOjay